Politics

All of this talk about Joe the Plumber has reminded me of a joke I used to annoy adults with. It seems clear in retrospect that I was ADHD as a child, but my parents insisted on calling me precocious, perhaps hoping against hope that I would channel my scatterbrained mania into something productive at some point. (It’s still a possibility, I suppose.) Anyway, the joke went something like this…

The other shoe turned out to be Joe Biden. Barack Obama has named the senator from Delaware his choice for Vice President. I suppose it’s a good choice from a political point of view. It addresses Obama’s experience/national defense weaknesses, and it helps to balance the ticket in that Biden is (a) white and (b) not Hillary. Still, this seems more like politics as usual than it does change we can believe in.

The primaries are done. Finally! All that democracy was getting tiring, wasn’t it? Multi-Culti cutie Barack Obama has secured the delegates, and will face off with crusty, curmudgeonly, old coot John McCain in the general election. Ironically, it appears that it’s still Hillary Clinton’s race to lose. Or so it seems listening to the Pundits and Bobbleheads.

Apparently, there are only two possible futures for Iraq. US troops take the red-eye to Reagan National, leaving behind chaos and bloodshed on an unprecedented scale. Or, we stay there another decade or two, dropping between $12 to $24 trillion at history’s blackjack table (the house always wins) while burying another 2400 to 4800 KIA service men and women, leaving tens of thousands more sitting in the rat-infested waiting room of a sub-standard medical facility with an impossibly ancient Michael Moore sitting there asking them if they still think it was all worth it.

Maybe it’s the fact that we just saw "World Trade Center." Maybe it’s just that it’s a "the week of" this year. Too many "the week of" e-mail pass through my mailbox. Only this time it’s "the week of 9/11," or "the week of September 11." Maybe it’s the Law of Five. Five fingers, five toes, five-year anniversary. Maybe it’s a hundred little things.

President Bush pretty much had to veto that stem cell research bill and not just because God told him to. I know, I know. He promised he would. And we all know how good politicians are at keeping their word, don’t we? No, I think Bush had to cast his first veto ever because this was one straw he could grasp in the whirlwind.Everything else is pretty much spinning out of control. No matter how much good economic news Bush relays from the Rose Garden, all people want to talk about is the price of gas. And there’s the on-going insurgency/civil war in Iraq, of course.

The House was busy doing the people’s work last week, passing a nonbinding resolution in support of mom, apple pie, and our brave boys and girls fighting the war on terror in Iraq, which we shouldn’t set a date to leave, even if it means paying top dollar for airline tickets. Or further alienating the Islamic world. Or bankrupting our grandchildren’s future.

Maybe the memo documenting our President’s determination to go to war with Iraq just didn’t qualify as "news." His protestations in response to Helen Thomas notwithstanding, we all knew, didn’t we? Maybe not all along but by now, we all know they were lying about Iraq, don’t we?Still, I can’t help thinking, WTF? I mean, WTFF? They knew that Iraq was not a clear and present danger. They knew.

Watching a feature on PBS’ NewsHour last week exploring the media’s coverage of Iraq I thought, okay, is it just a vast left wing conspiracy of the liberal elite media ignoring the good news coming out of Iraq? I mean, they don’t even bother explaining what "IED" stands for any more. I suppose it still sounds better than "bomb." Whatever. I’m not asking for much. Just a small indication that things are getting better.

I don’t believe the conspiracy theorists who are saying the Dubai Ports World "deal" was played out as scripted by Karl "The Marionette" Rove, to give Republicans at risk in the mid-terms a "Get Out of Jail Free" card, to distance themselves from President Bush’s 38% approval rate (perhaps better understood as a 62% disapproval rate). It is easier and simpler to see it as the result of the law of unintended consequences.

So, I missed the memo. Again. Everything’s cool now. No need to worry. Terrorist Advisory Alert Level is Blue; Guarded, with just a general risk of terrorist attack and an slight chance of an afternoon thunderstorm… No?
I was confused when I first heard about the ports deal with "a company from the United Arab Emirates" (Dubai Ports World).

I thought, "What are they thinking?"

Tom "The Hammer" DeLay (R, Texas), indicted for conspiracy, has thrown the cloak of persecution ‘round his shoulders. Liberals, Democrats, pagans, feminists, wicca and homosexuals are out to get him. Especially Democrats, who are mostly liberal pagan feminist wicca homosexuals.

I guess we know now what it would be like if terrorists struck again within our borders. The preparations that have been made, the rapid response, the coordination of federal departments with state and municipal agencies… Okay, not so much. What we do have is babies dying of dehydration, rats gnawing the bones of the dead and heavily armed junkies who haven’t had a fix in days roaming the ravaged landscape with Mac-10s on full auto.Rape, murder!

Some Lives Are Just A Warning

As I watched Bob Novak, the man Jon Stewart dubbed the "Douche Bag of Liberty," walk off the CNN set for the tenth or eleventh time (the clip even showed up on ESPN’s "Pardon the Interruption"!) I realized that I owed the man a heartfelt thank you. Perhaps more than one.

I saw Senator Rick Santorum (R. Pennsylvania) on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart last week. He was flogging his book, "It Takes a Family." At first, I thought this was a clever comment on big government.