On The Lighter Side
Posted Fri, 07/31/2009 - 18:57 by Hal Tenny
Something woke me up. I know there was a sound or something, because I never wake up in the middle of the night. Never. I sleep like a dead man. That's why my girlfriend quit staying here, said she didn't like sleeping next to a corpse. A glance at the darkened alarm clock tells me the power is off. I grab my watch off the night stand but I can't make out the time. Did I mention it was dark?
Posted Mon, 06/20/2005 - 19:29 by Hal Tenny
"So I guess that's it?"
"Yes."
"I'll be going then."
Jensen got to his feet and opened the office door but hesitated before leaving. He turned and faced the woman.
"You are a vicious bloodsucking bitch."
"I know," she said. "Lock the door and close it behind you."
She had to give him a little credit. Most of the men she trampled over would have slammed the door. Jensen was made of better stuff. She almost regretted getting rid of him. Almost.
Posted Wed, 04/20/2005 - 15:02 by Hal Tenny
Frank hopped into the den barely able to stand on his remaining foot. Safe at home at last, he collapsed in a heap as his mate hovered over him.
"Oh my, Honey! What happened to you?"
"I swear, pumpkin, it's getting harder and harder to make an honest living now days..."
A puddle of greenish, brown liquid was pooling around Frank as he propped himself up on his elbow.
"Where's dinner? You were supposed to bring home dinner tonight, Frank!"
"Are you blind woman! Can't you see I ran into a little trouble on the way home?"
Posted Wed, 12/24/2003 - 20:18 by Hal Tenny
In what may or may not become a tradition, here is this year's Christmas story, brought to you in our warped, Waving Alien style sense of humor. In case you missed last years story, do a search for "The Good, The Bad, The Santa." Merry Christmas!
***
People said I looked like Old St. Nick Himself. It's not like I could deny it or anything. I was fat and had a long white beard and mustache. All I needed was a red suit trimmed in white fluff and a big wide size fifty-two black belt with a huge silver buckle on it. And a goofy hat of course...
Posted Tue, 12/24/2002 - 13:29 by Hal Tenny
Here's a little Christmas story, Waving Alien style! Hope you like it!
Once upon a time in a quaint little town in Danbury, North Carolina, there was a little boy named Jimmy. Little Jimmy didn't believe in Santa Claus anymore. You see it's like this; he found a bunch of gifts while snooping in his parent's closet for something to read last Christmas. When the same gifts mysteriously turned up under the Christmas tree with 'To Little Jimmy From Santa' written on the tags, his belief in jolly old St Nick was over.
Posted Sun, 12/01/2002 - 15:19 by Hal Tenny
It's probably a good thing my tire blew out when it did. My drooping eyes had just crossed the barrier between the foggy, single minded focus of tunnel vision, to the point where it didn't matter whether they were open or closed, nothing was registering. A violent jerk of the wheel brought me back from la la land in a heartbeat as I struggled with the steering wheel for control.
Posted Thu, 11/28/2002 - 15:11 by Hal Tenny
"I'm waiting," said the voice.
"Who said that?" I asked.
"Sam Dilbert, 1955-2002," it responded.
"But that's me!" I exclaimed. "I'm not dead!"
"I know, that's why I'm waiting!" replied the calm voice...* * *
Posted Mon, 11/18/2002 - 21:52 by Hal Tenny
Here's a little experimental story. I had to write something on short notice, so it's not very long. This story contains only dialog. It's not really horror, but it is a bit gruesome. A funny sort of gruesome maybe. Of course, I have a funny sort of sense of humor too... Enough of this banter! Read it or not, the choice is yours...
Two Cooks, Two Kooks
"Hi Sam, so what we got here?"
"The two cooks had a disagreement. Looks like a fight to the finish."
Posted Tue, 11/12/2002 - 20:23 by Hal Tenny
I was Devastated. I can think of tons of better ways to have your girlfriend dump you than her sending you an email. But that is the way she chose. How impersonal, how rude, how spineless, how gutless! Couldn't even drop a dime for a phone call. Hell, it's toll free for christ sake!
Posted Mon, 03/18/2002 - 18:18 by Hal Tenny
Grasping the huge wooden bars, I pulled myself to my feet. I was somewhat refreshed from dozing off for a bit, but felt like I hadn't eaten in days. Seems like I'm hungry all the time. I couldn't escape from the cage, I had tried often enough. I was totally dependent on the giants who imprisoned me here at their convenience. I could see them milling about. Talking and pointing at me amongst themselves. I was the object of their laughter. Even refreshed from the sleep, my legs still lacked the strength to sustain me for long.
Posted Thu, 01/10/2002 - 20:40 by Hal Tenny
"Alright Freddie, we think we finally have a location nailed down for Mr. Glen. I know we've sent you out on a few wild goose chases in the past, but this tip comes from one of our best sources. You want another shot at him or not?" "Sure Mike, I'll shoot the bastard. I could care less about that little turd. His ass is mine."
Mike was right, Mr. Glen was an elusive target. We've been trying to nail him for ever it seems. I had a good feeling this time though. He was dead meat, I just knew it.
Posted Sat, 07/14/2001 - 19:53 by Hal Tenny
I mentioned a few weeks ago that I had been away taking a wilderness survival training class. Not knowing exactly why I would want to do such a thing, made it difficult to say the least, in making preparations for the journey. I spent more time trying to figure out how I would get my lap top computer charged up when the battery died, than I did in worrying about other important things, like how many clean pair of underwear to pack. It wasn't like I was planning on meeting anyone out there after all, and who would care if my grundies were dirty, other than myself. Besides, I knew it would be pointless to go out in the woods without a way to play a little Team Fortress. How could I possibly survive a weekend with out it?
