The First Cutler is the Deepest

Posted Sat, 10/31/2009 - 06:28 by Michael J Smith

Some people just make you believe in ancient mummy curses. Has Jay Cutler ever traveled in the Middle East? No, seriously. Has he? He seems like the kind of guy who might take a leak in burial crypt. That would piss me off if I was a mummy.

 

Okay, okay. STILL. A. LONG. WAY. TO. GO. I get that. But the Jay Cutler saga has become far too interesting to deny. No matter how it ends, whether he continues the erratic, turnover-filled performances of his first six games or turns things around and propels the Bears to the playoffs, it’s going to be compelling.

The Cutler narrative is well known at this point. His mentor/father-figure fired in Denver, the star-child pouts; new head coach Josh McDaniels gets caught in bed with former protégé Matt Cassel, star-child holds his breath till he turns blue in the face. McDaniels says he’ll take Kyle Orton and a carton of draft choices in exchange for Cutler and Chicago says, "I do."

In medias res, McDaniels was ripped a new one while Cutler was hailed as the Holy Grail of Bears football; at last, the successor to Sid Luckman had come to Chicago! Those who noted that Cutler’s lifetime winning percentage hardly indicated he was a franchise quarterback were reminded that Denver’s defense had lost those games, not Cutler. With a good defense, he would prove the doubters wrong. The Bears had a good defense and now they finally had a franchise quarterback!

Time passes…

Ironies accumulate…

Injuries and age have caught up with Chicago’s defense. That will happen when your quarterback tosses 10 INT in six games and fumbles 7 times to sprinkle some jimmies on that turnover sundae. True, all but 1 of those fumbles was recovered but really, putting the ball on the turf is almost always a bad thing. I’m pretty sure there’s a high correlation of offensive fumbles recovered to 4th Downs. Meanwhile, Denver’s defense has been refashioned into a dominating, game-changing unit that is #1 in scoring defense. Kyle Orton has actually been mentioned as an MVP candidate. Okay, I’m dubious on that point. I think I read his name on somebody’s early list of MVP candidates. It just sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Anyway, Orton has thrown a modest 9 TD passes but a miniscule 1 INT (and that single INT was of the End of the First Half Hail Mary variety). What if the Broncos do run the table? Are you still giving that MVP trophy to Peyton Manning?

When I look at Jay Cutler I see Jeff George. George had a big right arm, too. And a tiny, tiny brain.

Cutler looks like a quarterback. He acts like a quarterback. He throws impossible passes far, far downfield into small windows for game-changing completions. He is so confident in his mighty right arm that he cooly throws into triple coverage, grinning slyly as he does so. Of course, throwing into triple coverage is a high risk/low return proposition, no matter how good your arm is. Interceptions will accumulate at an alarming pace, like, oh, about 1.6666666666666666666666666666667 times per game (give or take).

Thinking about Jeff George again, I’m reminded that the trade of Cutler was considered shocking, in that franchise quarterbacks are rarely traded because every GM, regardless of the sport, is familiar with the story of how the Red Sox traded Babe Ruth to the Yankees and the ensuing 86-year drought between World Series wins. You just don’t trade a franchise quarterback, no matter how long he holds his breath. Eventually, he’ll pass out and reflexively take a breath. The Broncos traded Cutler anyway.

What if Cutler isn’t a franchise quarterback? I’m sure the Indianapolis Colts thought Jeff George was a franchise quarterback. And even after the trade to Atlanta and George took the Falcons to the playoffs, I’m sure he was still seen as a franchise-type QB.

He went on to play for the Raiders, Vikings, Redskins, Bears, and then an encore in Oakland.

I think, What if Jay Cutler is the next Jeff George?

Then I think, Jeff George is sui generis. It’s completely irrational to see George’s career as predictive of anything. So true.

The Bears see Jay Cutler as a championship-caliber quarterback, but you can’t help thinking that the injuries to the defense and Matt Forte suddenly sucking make a championship this season look like a long shot. Next year? Well, will Brett Favre ever retire? Even if the Vikings were to win the Super Bowl, would the Mississippi Gambler know when to fold ‘em? Or would he double down? Aaron Rodgers ain’t going nowhere and if the Lions are right about Matthew Stafford, the NFC North could be a tough out. What if the Bears don’t make the playoffs this year or next? What if they string together back-to-back-to-back 9-7-0 seasons? In a couple of years, whither Jay Cutler? Oakland?

But who knows, really. Certainly not me. Maybe Cutler’s rapport with Devin Hester, Johnny Knox and Greg Olsen continues to grow. Maybe Matt Forte stops sucking. Maybe Brett Favre’s arm falls off, literally flies off at the shoulder socket, the football still clenched in his crooked fingers, the attempted pass falling incomplete some 60 yards downfield as fans gasp in horror and Sidney Rice wretches in the end zone. And maybe Aaron Rodgers flees the country gibbering and drooling after being sacked seventeen times by the Steelers in their Week 15 match up.

It could happen.

~ October 30, 2009

themike@wavingalien.com