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Sports - They Still Call It Football: Nothing But The Truth
Posted by Admin on Monday, January 05, 2009 (9 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| After the disappointing end to their once promising season, it’s hard to imagine any member of the Jets having the stones to call one of their teammates out. And yet, they have. Running back Thomas Jones has gone public with his thoughts. If he’d been the HC of the NYJ, he would’ve pulled Brett Favre because those 3 INT just killed any chance they had at winning. Jones did not comment on whether or not he would’ve pulled a starting running back for averaging 2.3 yards per carry, but later noted that if he had fumbled twice, he also should’ve been benched. For future reference.
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Sports - They Still Call It Football: Qapla’
Posted by Admin on Thursday, January 01, 2009 (13 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| It’s a hard and immutable judgment. Succeed or fail. No D-minus or B-plus. Twelve teams and their fans look to the future with hope; they are winners, successes. Twenty teams and their fans can bemoan the linear nature of time (and the failure of so-called "scientists" to develop a temporal flux capacitor), opportunities irretrievably lost, the cruelty of a seemingly godless universe. They are losers. Failures. And just like a B-movie, all we ask is that the villain die a suitable death; a death as devastating as the damage he has caused. I’m looking at you Eric Mangini!
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Sports - They Still Call It Football: Plaxico Burress Died For Your Sins
Posted by Admin on Tuesday, December 16, 2008 (28 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| Apparently, Bill Gates is packing. Warren Buffet will straight up strafe your ass. Or so I assume, based on the logic that if you got loot, you’ve got an inalienable right to conceal an unregistered firearm. Quite honestly, I don’t think there’s been enough Second Amendment hysteria in this story. Come on Republicans! I know you just got your ass handed to you and you’re all feelin’ Eeyore right now, but this is a 12-ounce filet, medium rare. Plax is just another hard-working, red-blooded, John Dillinger died for your sins kind of guy. Of course he was carrying a gun – ain’t you?
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Sports - They Still Call It Football: The Ineluctable Modality of the Visible
Posted by Admin on Thursday, November 06, 2008 (67 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| Can we believe our eyes any more? We really have no choice but acknowledge it. The Cincinnati Bengals have won a football game. You know, at times like these, we need a rock we can hold onto, something reliable, consistent, a marker, something tangible, ineluctable, something that tells us we’re not dreaming… Thank you, Detroit Lions!
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This is This
Posted by Admin on Thursday, October 30, 2008 (75 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| I had always hoped Robert de Niro’s line from "The Deer Hunter" would become a catch phrase, a sort of Philosophy of the Ineluctable. This is this. Unlike "It is what it is," it never captured the pop zeitgeist. I suppose the pigskin version would be "You are what your record says you are." It’s a phrase that’s not particularly popular in San Diego right now. There are some people who look at the 2-5-0 Chargers and see a team that is just a few plays and a bad call away from being 7-0-0. Me? I see a team coached by Norv Turner.
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Politics: Red, White and Black
Posted by Admin on Sunday, October 19, 2008 (139 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| All of this talk about Joe the Plumber has reminded me of a joke I used to annoy adults with. It seems clear in retrospect that I was ADHD as a child, but my parents insisted on calling me precocious, perhaps hoping against hope that I would channel my scatterbrained mania into something productive at some point. (It’s still a possibility, I suppose.) Anyway, the joke went something like this…
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Sports - They Still Call It Football: The Team That Plays Better
Posted by Admin on Tuesday, October 14, 2008 (151 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| You may have heard that it isn’t the better team that wins; it’s the team that plays better. This is meant to be reassuring, I suppose. Maybe so, if you’re a Giants’ fan, but if you’re living in the greater Detroit area, does it provide anything more than cold comfort in these trying times of economic and pigskin disaster? And after last Sunday, you have to ask yourself, how badly do their opponents have to play for the Lions’ best to be good enough? Millen may be gone, but clearly, the Millen Era is far from over.
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Sports - They Still Call It Football: Does Your Face Hurt?
Posted by Admin on Thursday, October 09, 2008 (170 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| In the colloquial speech of the modern NFL, Cardinals WR Anquan Boldin is out "with a face." Jets safety Eric Smith was suspended for a game and fined an additional 50 large on top of losing a game check. If I’m doing the math correctly, that totals $72,867.50 or 19.9157% of his salary. I happened to watch that game and in my opinion, docking a player 20% of their salary for a hit that vicious and – most importantly – unnecessary, sets the bar a little high, but, it’s a step in the right direction. In fact, it might be a good idea to use a percentage rather than a dollar amount for all fines, given the disparity in NFL salaries from one player to the next; perhaps a minimum 5% for any helmet-to-helmet hit. And no, I don’t buy the argument that the game is too fast and sometimes these hits simply cannot be avoided. These are the greatest football players in the known universe. They are remarkable athletes and they perform feats of remarkable athleticism on the field every Sunday. I didn’t see the hit on Falcons QB Matt Ryan that Panthers DE Julius Peppers was fined $10,000 for – conspiracy theorists will note Ed Hochuli’s involvement – but it was enough to draw a fine. $10,000 amounts to just 0.1301% of Peppers’ salary. I’m not sure that’s going to influence behaviors.
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You Can Never Be Too Rich
Posted by Admin on Sunday, October 05, 2008 (177 reads) Topic Rants
Written by Hal Tenny
| Uh hu... I suppose that's true from a rich persons point of view, but if you're on the opposite side of the gutter like I am, you see it differently. I haven't written much of anything lately, let alone a rant. I might just enjoy this. Yes, I think I might...
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Sports - They Still Call It Football: More Questions Than Answers
Posted by Admin on Thursday, October 02, 2008 (172 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| Was it really that long ago that Buffalo and Tennessee played for the AFC Championship? Maybe we’re doomed to repeat history no matter what we know. If we’re lucky, we wake up every morning as funny as Bill Murray, in bed with Andie McDowell. Or maybe you’d settle for being as funny as Dane Cook as long as you can sub Jessica Alba for Andie McDowell. Whatever the case, I think it’s a safe bet Tennessee won’t have to worry about losing the Super Bowl to the St. Louis Rams this year. Apparently history, like everything else, is far from perfect…
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It’s All In The Game
Posted by Admin on Thursday, September 25, 2008 (198 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| It isn’t about triumph; it’s about redemption. It isn’t about achievement; it’s about adversity. Oh, let’s face it. It’s about watching the Good Guy, spurs jangling, striding steadfast into the hard white sun of Main Street, USA (circa 1870). Where he is gunned down by the Man in the Black Hat. Or in the case of the Bengals, the Men in the Purple, Blue, and What Color Have You Got Hats. It will be interesting to see if the Browns use pale earth tones or the more aggressive chocolate jerseys this Sunday in what is turning out to be a rather compelling melodrama. Okay, not really. It’s got to be a downer to be playing a meaningless game in Week 4.
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Massive Landscaping Photo Essay
Posted by Admin on Saturday, September 20, 2008 (212 reads) Topic Column
Written by Hal Tenny
| New Photo Essay: Landscaping
Here is the long overdue photo update I have been threatening you with the past decade. This is a huge update. Plan on spending some relaxing time here seeing how the backyard has changed over the years. All the Cascade photo essay's show more pictures in detail, and the deck essay as well. This photo essay is more to show you how things have changed and the plantings have matured, as well as additional projects never documented yet such as the wishing well and walking garden. I would love to hear what you all think, good or bad, I can take it. E-mail me at The Hal. Click on the thumbnails to enlarge!.
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Sports - They Still Call It Football: Strange Changes
Posted by Admin on Thursday, September 18, 2008 (204 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| Was it really that long ago the Jaguars and Vikings were chic picks for a trip to Tampa? Actually, it wasn’t. I personally think their fans should be thankful they won’t have their hearts ripped out during the holiday season. In the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas, we’ve all got plenty of reasons to close the garage door and leave the car running. As for Chargers’ fans, I can’t imagine what you all did to deserve this, but let me know when you post the video.
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Politics: Palin by Comparison
Posted by admin on Wednesday, September 17, 2008 (214 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| It was said by people smarter than me that "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist." I’m reminded of this quote by the mediacane surrounding Sarah Palin. You know Sarah Palin. She’s the sitting governor of Alaska and the Republican nominee for President. Have to say it’s pretty ballsy of the GOP to run a woman when even the Democrats wouldn’t do that. What? John McCain? Really?
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Sports - They Still Call It Football: True True True
Posted by Admin on Thursday, September 11, 2008 (199 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| Everyone wishes they were talented. Except for the talented, of course. They’re already talented. They, instead, wish they were sane. I guess that means it’s insane to wish for talent. Maybe not; I might’ve left one or two dots unconnected there. Anyway, talent is clearly a double-edged sword. It places massive, asymmetrical stresses on the psyche, not to mention knee ligaments. Being talented is like walking on the sun. About a million G’s of pressure, heat like Madrid in August, and eyeball vaporizing light. Hence, the Ray-bans.
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Sports - They Still Call It Football: Can’t Wait Till Sunday
Posted by Admin on Monday, September 08, 2008 (212 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| Did you miss me? No? Well, I’m not surprised. My mid-life crisis was brief, drenched in self-indulgence (or was it tequila?), but sadly lacking in detail. I had penned a short, touching farewell to Waving Alien, but Hal and Tewa didn’t post it. So much for the obvious Brett Favre/non-retirement jokes, I guess. Perhaps they knew I would get "the itch" again. I suppose it was reassuring when I checked the site and saw that my short goodbye had not been posted. I mean, not one person had sent me a note begging me to come back. That hurt. Maybe I’m giving myself too much credit, but after what happened Sunday afternoon, I know that some of you are going to need me, so, I decided to neatly fold my existential angst and put it away with my summer clothes. To all my fellow citizens in Patriots Nation, I say, trust me. We’ll get through this. To all of my fellow humanoids on Planet Pigskin wondering if they can live in a world with a broke down Peyton Manning, no Tom Brady, and a developing facial tic in response to the words "Brett Favre," I say, download some Bob Marley. Brew up some chai tea. Light up some, uh, incense. Everything’s gonna be all right…
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Sports - They Still Call It Football: Rooting Interests
Posted by Admin on Sunday, August 24, 2008 (245 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| Who do you love? The home team, of course. The players you drafted for you fantasy league team, for sure. If you’re like me, there are players you just root for. In some cases, it’s something about the way they play the game. In other cases, it’s something about their circumstances. Last year, I rooted for Brett Favre; one of the game’s all-time greats somehow reaching back for one last fastball. This season? I don’t think so, and not just because he’s playing for the Jets and I’m a Pats fan. No, somehow it just doesn’t feel right. Maybe this sequel isn’t as bad a decision as greenlighting "Weekend at Bernie’s II," but nothing could be that bad. Could it?
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Politics: Biden Time
Posted by admin on Sunday, August 24, 2008 (232 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| The other shoe turned out to be Joe Biden. Barack Obama has named the senator from Delaware his choice for Vice President. I suppose it’s a good choice from a political point of view. It addresses Obama’s experience/national defense weaknesses, and it helps to balance the ticket in that Biden is (a) white and (b) not Hillary. Still, this seems more like politics as usual than it does change we can believe in.
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Politics: Cleanliness is Next to Electability
Posted by Admin on Tuesday, August 19, 2008 (234 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| Obama and McCain took their God Test last week. It was administered by proctor Rick Warren, and both did surprisingly well. McCain’s ties to the religious right are frayed and tenuous. Obama’s middle name is Hussein. Both could use a wink and a nod from Jesus to seal the deal in November.
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Sports - They Still Call It Football: You Can Do Whatever You Want – I’m In Remission
Posted by admin on Monday, August 18, 2008 (245 reads) Topic Open Mike
Written by Michael J Smith
| I guess everything is situational. I mean, that’s all Einstein was really trying to say, wasn’t he? Seriously, what was that dude up to? Huh… He finished his career in New Jersey, too. Big Jets, fan. He was Physicist Al before there ever was a Fireman Ed. Y-E-T-S, Yets, Yets, Yets! Anyway, this time of year, most observers of pigskins—fans, in other words—are focused on their team and its specific problems. Most of them are cautiously optimistic.
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